This is your local news reporter, reporting live from snowy Boston Massachusetts, documenting a new and unusual phenomenon sweeping across the younger generations: the Dabbler Syndrome. Parents, listen closely for the symptoms, since you may realize that your child ought to be tested and treated for it too. I have with me a very special young person that happens to be the very first subject to be identified as positive for this syndrome. Psychologists are stunned by this new finding, and are working long and hard to amend the DSM-5, their bible of disorders, to include this peculiar state of insanity. What the psychologists are calling the “preliminary diagnostic criterium” is a rare psychological state of perpetual interest, without any development towards a specialized field of work or study. This condition may seem benign on the surface, but this new mental illness may have seriously negative ramifications both on the individual and her self-concept, and for society and our need for specialized innovation. 

Watch what happens as she attends a college lecture on neurobiology. Notice the excitement in her voice as she lowers her hand and begins to pose a question to the professor. Now observe her behavior in an art studio. Notice her furrowed brow as she slaps down paint on canvass passionately. We follow her into a computer coding class: her interest-level remains the same as ever, and we observe her furiously scribbling down notes. This behavior continues in the cooking class, the pottery class, the video-game class, the writing class, the yoga class, even gym class. This young subject is not particularly talented in any of the endeavors, and lacks the sane state of mind necessary to narrow her scope of interest. 

Please tune in now for a special interview with the subject:

Interviewer: “So what is your favorite subject in school?”

Subject: “I like them all pretty good. I think it would have to be… neurobiology though.”

I: “That’s an interesting response. I was speaking with Dr. Dennis and he said that you often change your answer, is that so?”

S: “Hm, I feel like he has it all wrong, I really just like to dabble, I don’t see a problem with that.”

I: “Right, well no-one said anything about a problem, per se… well, you’re doing just fine with the interview, so let’s continue shall we?

S: “Okay.”

I: “And so what do you hope to become, in your professional life, that is?”

S: “Well, I just got out of my neurobiology lecture and I just find our brains to be such fascinating, beautiful, unique puzzles, so I would have to say that I hope to be a neuroscientist one day.”

I: “If I asked you the same question again tomorrow after your studio-art class what do you think you would say?”

S: “Well, um,” she sounded perplexed and a bit nervous, “I’m really not sure, I mean what kind of question is that anyway, I already gave you an answer, I’ll be a scientist, that’s that! This interview is bleep-ing stupid.”

As demonstrated by the interview footage, it seems that the subject has no conscious knowledge of her distressing illness, as she remains adamant that she wants to become a scientist. According to her longitudinal psychological evaluation however, it has been well-documented that she will change her answer frequently, depending upon her current dabbling fixation. Her fixations are easily swayed by the social setting and novel subject matter. She now believes she will become a famous writer. 

The cause of this tragic psychological syndrome is unknown at the present time, however brain scientists believe that the condition may be linked to either early-life post-traumatic stress or a rare form of autism, or both. Big-Pharma is currently working on a medication to alleviate the symptoms, but development thus far has been halted due to a range in horrific psychological side-effects in monkey test-subjects. This is your local Boston News reporter signing off, thanks for being with us this evening.