Alive. Tonight I mourn for my future death.

I don’t know why

I mourn for people who i haven’t even met

who’ve died.

We’re all speeding towards impending doom, at least we all have that in common.

And I lied

When Cameron asked what’s on my mind

I said I’m anxious for my first time covering

a bass show as a journalist

When really i was scared of death.

I didn’t want to worry him.

Cus maybe if i stayed quiet, nothing bad would ever happen to him.

***********

back in time

i wrote in another notebook long before that night…

And she died. at the ripe old age of 103.

when asked about secrets

she claimed it was fear of death

that got her that far.