This story ends with me deciding I don’t want an engagement ring, like ever. Maybe this is a radical statement, or maybe I just realized how I am being duped by absurd social norms. 

But let me start at the beginning…

I was overwhelmed by excitement and love because I was with my boyfriend in the mall and we happened to walk by a jewelry store. You might be familiar with the moment. Either way, I tugged on his sleeve and begged him to come with me to look at rings, because how romantic would that be!!! What could go wrong? 

Well, everything went wrong.

My eyes were wide, looking at all the diamonds under the glass, when I suddenly felt a lurking presence behind me. It was the jeweler. I think he noticed my lack of a bra and our young faces and he thought what perfect specimens we would make. 

“Would you like to try on the ring? There is nothing to lose…”

“Okay”

After I tried on the ring, I didn’t like how it looked and I said so. 

“Would you say yes if he asked you to marry him with this ring?”

The personal question startled me, “uh, I mean yeah of course, but I would say yes regardless…” 

“And what is your name, dear?”

I shared my name.

“Oh, that’s a tough one,” he chuckled with a mean grin that I’m sure lived under his surgical mask.

“Thank you!” I said wryly, and I felt my blood starting to boil. The nerve. 

I was about to get up and leave because this creepy, rude salesperson was starting to tingle my intuition that he should not be trusted under any circumstance, when he offered us a free credit check to determine my boyfriend’s eligibility for a finance plan for the ring. 

He got us right where he wanted us, uncomfortable and insecure.

“It will only take 2 minutes…”

“Okay sure…” 

“And what is your social security number?” He asked my boyfriend as he typed into an iPad facing away from us.

My ears perked up at the sound of his shady voice asking us to belt out extremely sensitive information. I had to chime in at this point, “Can’t we just type it in?”

We typed it in, scrolled down, and watched his fingers closely to make sure he scrolled down too…

“And how do you spell your name, dear?”

“Yeah no I don’t want my name on the application, thanks.”

“It’s for a wishlist, you don’t want a wishlist?” he said with a note of desperation.

“No, I don’t.”

“What do people call you?” he pressed.

“It’s fine, really, I’m good,” I evaded personal questions like the corona virus. My fight-or-flight response was now in full gear. I felt my pits get wetter by the second. We need to leave, I said with my eyes to my boyfriend.

“Well! Thanks for stopping in today, my name is Ron, here is my card.” His name was definitely not Ron.

As we were leaving, my boyfriend checked his wallet for his driver’s license, which he had handed over to the jeweler for the credit check. The ID was not in his wallet. 

“Hey Ron,” my boyfriend said loudly across the store,

“did you ever give me my ID back?”

He looked around, avoiding eye contact and feigning confusion. As we stood there helpless, he finally picked up the iPad up off the glass display. Underneath was the ID. Why do I get the feeling that it was all a show of meticulous slight of hand…

After leaving the store in an uncomfortable hurry, I knew, for the first time, the meaning of slimey. I needed to take a cold shower, like immediately. His evil aura got stuck to me, I felt it sliding all over my skin and I couldn’t wipe it off. 

I began to fully panic that he was some sort of conman who stole sensitive information and was going to steal my boyfriend’s identity. I looked online for help (duh) and found a service from Experian that gives you a myriad of identification fraud protection measures. I made him sign up. I felt safer but I was still extremely disturbed by the whole situation. The preying on young people, the complete and utter lack of romance in the situation, the underhanded comments, the sneaky slight of hand, the fake name…

The next day my boyfriend gets an email, and I can’t make this up:

    “Hi ____,

Thanks again for giving me the time to assist you! I know customers often think of things after their consultation, so please feel free to reach out so I can answer any questions. 

Call me at ________, schedule an appointment, or stop by for anything!

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

    RONALD MACDONALD“